Every year is a challenge. An Opportunity. Set an intention and pursue it, with the grander goal of bettering yourself and finding happiness, security, and fulfillment.
Overall, this year has been great. I’m proud of my ability to work hard at a wide variety of interests and to form habits with discipline and consistency. I’m also better well-adjusted and able to look at myself critically. It’s kept me on a good path and given me the tools to course-correct as I need to.
I’ve got to start with respecting the base line “adulting”. I pay my bills. Save money. Keep my apartment clean. Show up to work. I’ve put effort into having a good diet and regular exercise. I’ve built habits out of writing, volunteering, books clubs, making and keeping friends. Maintaining the base line is hard work and I want to recognize how successful I’ve been at doing it. That includes being grateful to the family [S/O to the Parental Units and Peter for being my rocks] and friends who form a support system that I’m deeply thankful for.
I also had some struggles. Mental health was challenging at the end of the year. But I can be proud of taking steps to take care of myself even as I’ve been unbalanced and more delicate recently. [Family time, rest, more exercise, and the support system have all been great at settling me last week]
I jumped into the blog last November. There are 40-ish posts on it [not including volunteering and the hundreds of workouts journaled] which is amazing! Poetry, Reviews, Opinion. Some pieces I’m really proud of I’d like to start a “Showcase” category. Some were more for the practice of writing/editing/publishing but still, that’s the grind.
I’ve also kept my commitment to volunteering! Way cool/self-satisfying to make a year-long resolution and keep it.
The record label was a bit of a nonstarter, though I do have more of a network and learned a lot. Also, the small business might be able to be used for tax benefits, as the tax code gets weird. But it reminds me I fail just as well as succeed.
I’ve had just unbelievable experiences this year. Like Dirty Bird was indescribable to anyone not there. So was PS1 MoMA and NatHistory raves. Visiting different communities particularly in the city. Sam from Music for Autism. Chasing a chicken. Less travel, but it was meant to be a saving year. That sort of panned out, I do have another account specifically for travel and one more for pocket change.
I broke my echo chamber. I smashed it with a hammer. I found people different from me and made friends. I found them pleasant and kind, by and large.
I attempted to be better with women, I honestly tried, but sometimes I still feel like I’m completely awash in unknowing about what women think of me, and I’m trying to figure out how to learn more.
Way to donate more, raise money for Movember, get bagels, get promoted, be a positive influence in my community, be a good friend, keep healthy habits. I’ve continued to keep doing different things, and I’m proud that I keep finding paths into a bunch of events and people.
However, as mentioned above, I ended the year in a rut. I’ve lost a touch of the confidence that I had. It was a combination of multiple things that weighed on me, things both in and out of my control. And though I seem to be aware of it and I’m taking steps to take care of myself, I don’t know if they’re truly the most efficient outlets. I think in some sense I should just continue doing the work of stabilizing my mental health and not be so hung up on the progress or over-criticizing the approach.
I’ve not been the best at health, particularly in this last month [contributing to my poor mood]. Injury kept me from the marathon and lifting. I did get much more into yoga, but even then, I wasn’t practicing enough to actually get much better, even though I did make strides in alignment and vibe.
Next year is a big one. I am now stamping my commitment to travel through East Asia for at least 6 months, aiming for a year, maybe more. I plan to leave at the end of 2018, first half of 2019. I will write, play music, see the world that is bigger than I can possibly imagine. It will require two things this year: One, solid planning. Get a budget, get an itinerary [list of cities/places, transportation, some living places], list/pack [Visas? Passport? Working in China?]. Also talk to a couple travelers. Do some reading/research on backpacking, backpackers/East Asia.
Two, continue saving aggressively. TD should be moved to gain some cash. I’m aiming for a minimum of +10.5k, plus the pocket money from the 5’s, plus whatever else I can get. That should be plenty of money to get through about a year of travel. If I can pick up some work, or decrease expenses with labor, I should be more than fine. I’ll also hopefully have my emergency fund still stocked, so I can comeback not destitute. [Also means minimum traveling this year. Mardi Gras. Connecticut with Matt. Virginia w Collin. Denver/Boulder/Washington/Cali]
I will keep volunteering regularly, aiming for at least 2 a quarter. 7-8 a year. It’ll help settle me, keep me from drinking too much, and allow me to keep expanding my understanding of the city. But aim to keep it in Brooklyn and try to be somewhat political.
In addition, I want to be attached to the community farm. It’s exactly what I want to do and I’d like to be more involved in that board.
I’ve had a strong commitment to the blog and I’d like to keep it up. I would like to keep writing and posting as often as possible, averaging 3 posts a month, that can be anything, poetry, reviews, articles.
Same with the book clubs. But I may have to drop one. The one through work is moving slightly too fast. I’m going to ask to move the meeting until the end of January.
Fuck girls. Both literally and metaphorically. Real relationships take work. It’s not insignificant, and I’m not really comfortable with stringing people. If I find someone special, I will give it a real try. I may go fishing every once in a while. Other than that, I have better things to focus on. I have things I care about doing, and that takes time and commitment.
I want to do a marathon and a Tri this year. It starts with one race in January. Then look into the Brooklyn Tri club. Maybe throw in a Spartan for fun. Sets me up to complete an Iron just before I leave.
And finally, plan the Creator Space events. I want to own that event, using the work I put into Music, Art, Writing/poetry, networking, Brain Trust, and culminate into at least one, but hopefully two parties. Try to keep yourself net neutral for cash.
I have to continue pushing and discarding when I need too.
2017 was a big year for me, and I’m proud and glad to have put in the effort to make my own happiness, find fulfilment, kept myself security and healthy, and found ways to grow.
There were challenges. I’m not completely satisfied. I’ve had straight up failures. Plenty of embarrassments.
But that’s the journey. There should never be a time I don’t push myself into new experiences, never worth losing action to comfortability or security. We have limited time but unlimited potential to be who we want to be, do what we want to do, and hopefully have a positive impact on the people around us and the species as a whole. I know that I’ve got lofty goals for myself, and I’m ambitious to a fault. But I applaud the attempt. I want to hold myself to that higher bar, and each time I hit it, raise my sights a little higher.
2018 will be about commitment. I’ve made big promises for myself, and I’ve taken positive steps. But the last 100 miles is always the problem. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5IMsrdcDs] That requires me to be focused, not make excuses, and follow through on plans I’ve made for myself.
Looking back on 2017 reminds me that I love the process, I love the work, and every success is hugely satisfying. I’m excited. To put in the effort. To reveal in the accomplishments. To reap the rewards. And then to look forward into more goals.
There’s fear. I’m afraid of failure, something I’d like to work on. But also let that fear be a driving force to complete small tasks when you can’t find motivation.
Here’s to another year of work and growth. Here’s to the year after that.
Everyone be safe out there. Tell your loved ones how important they are to you. Include yourself in that list. And if you have things you want to improve on, hold yourself accountable. If you don’t, well, gimme that secret, I’m hella envious. Cheers everyone! Thank you for your time in 2017! I hope you found something in my shouting-in-the-void. I’ll see you on the other side.