Practicing the art of publishing and relentless Optimism against the INEVITABLE flow of time and my own self consciousness by not taking it too seriously.

New York.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

I’ve had some money related concerns recently. I won’t sit here and front though, I have to take a privilege check and count my numerous blessings. I’m financially independent due to excellent support and work from my parents. I’ve learned and honed skills and habits that give me relatively enormous wealth and growth potential.

I’ve got a stable job and income and career prospects. I’m healthy and happy. I live in a rich country.

My parents provide a strong safety net woven from their own laborious hands

I’ve blessed and safe, I don’t have much to complain about.

But I’m definitely going to complain anyway.

Privilege doesn’t diminish legitimacy of suffering to the individual, only the amount of opportunities one has to address those sufferings. Mine aren’t limitations, just obstacles.

Here’s my obstacles:

In the effort to save for a year+ of backpacking, secure IRA contributions for this and next year, upping my 401(k) contributions, have emergency funds for the gap between coming back and another job, investing in the Open Mic endeavor, all on top of the summer activities; my funds have been stretched to their limits.

What’s really difficult though is its effect on my mental state.

I’m constantly thinking about money. While yes, I’ve always had regular financial habits, I check both the state of my balance sheet and the details of my bank statements, and I’m very okay with being a cheap date [Or I guess, paying for a cheap date? Damn you Patriarchy!!!!]; it used to be a matter of simple accounting and allocating. Now it is a point of stress.

It’s made me treat friends and family differently. Ideas of sacrifice and trust are overlain by penny pitching and asks for venmo requests.

Too many people attribute money with value. I’m at my financial worst when I share that mistake. Value is different, if completely unrelated to money. And while it is prudent and important to have multiple streams of savings, I should not be using money as a gauge for the value of my relationships or my endeavors. Neither should I use money as a goal, even as I can not deny it as a requirement.

But I’m uncomfortable asking for money. I’m also having trouble making that plea stick. Which is why the Indiegogo is such an important experience. How do I raise money? How do I make valuable things then convert that value into money? Because revenue is a big factor in growth and sustainability. If I can’t, the scope and scale of my projects diminish immensely.

A recent conversation also reminded me to be creative. Find local business partners. Find other forms of funding.  Leverage a brand or a reputation to sell shit as another way to generate revenue and marketing. This means better documentation, so I can have evidence of the success and potential profitability of the events.

I’ll also have to be more direct with my asks. If not forever, then at least to wave it in their faces uncomfortably. As they say, primpin ain’t easy.

I’m also trying to continue to hone better spending habits. If my focus is strictly money, weekend binges must be either more economical, or less frequent. Sustainably, I think it’ll have to be both. A goal is to keep November and December relatively event free. Instead, I want to focus on the open mics, writing, and getting things prepared for traveling.

Finally, I’m going to be stricter on my power usage. I’ve fallen off recently, my desktop and stereo have been plugged in for days. It’s only cents a week, but it’s more the attitude than anything else. Keeping spending to essentials should be the priority the next few weeks.

This is minus the camping gear I will need, though I will be more cost diligent. Part of that is the tarp over a tent, a smaller backpack, and doing a bit more research on retailers before purchase.

Again, by no means am I in debt, or out of my earnings. But I am mindful of how I can’t be as frivolous as I would like. Unfortunately, cash rules everything around me. Means I gotta act accordingly.

Conservation

Trickle Up Poverty