Hey friends. If I can offer some advice, as the weather’s still cold and nights are way too long [but getting shorter!] [okay, real talk. I wrote this like 3 months ago. Took a while to edit. I procrastinate. Whatever! It’s timeless advice!]: Take some time to make yourself a mug of tea.
First, there’s a plethora of health benefits: water is amazing for you, the antioxidants and micronutrients from steeped tea leaves boost your immune system, and there is a psychological gain from taking a little time for yourself and slowing down to drink “hot leaf juice”. [My own nephew!] Plus, who doesn’t like wrapping their fingers around an-almost-too-hot-mug, holding it so close that the steam clears your sinuses.
Starting around mid/late October, I noticed I had an uptick in the amount of “off-days”. I was in a piss poor mood. I didn’t have much motivation. I felt like my life was frantic and uncontrollable. There were a million things to do, not enough time, and no sense of progress. I was frustrated, overworked, and under-accomplished. I knew what steps I had to take, yet all I wanted to do was shove it all and sleep. Or waste hours pouring over weird YouTube videos.
The colder weather and lack of sunlight didn’t help. Nearly overwhelmed with an unforgiving schedule didn’t help. The deviation from the 2-3 regularly scheduled workouts a week also indicate a problem. Finally, failing at a variety of personal and public issues, spanning relationships to politics, made all the effort seem fruitless.
I had been sprinting at the hamster wheel, and all I could see was the wheel and not the progress.
Then, while trying to clear up obligations before year end, inconveniences like my ceiling leaking or needing a new dentist and doctor added an unfathomably large burden on already weighted shoulders. At least to me.
Suffice to say, my mental health suffered.
It had been a while since my last downstroke. And honestly, I’ve been doing great all around. Still I had to take steps to improve my mental state.
First and foremost, I needed to be kinder to myself. Instead of berating my shortcomings, or fuming over wasted time, I needed to focus on individual tasks and actions, and importantly, forgive myself for mistakes or false starts.
But there was a flip side. I still needed to be disciplined on my habits. Even without motivation, I knew things would better with chores done rather than pushed aside.
One important one was/is to keep my apartment clean and tidy; mess adds stress.
I also kept working out which boosted my mood and my sense of accomplishment/self-worth. It also got me out of the house, got my blood pumping, and I knew that it’s time well spent.
I had to cut back on going out. Drinking, especially in excess, would only make me feel worse. The entire process of partying, with travel time, spending money, putting on the mask, and the entire shebang, loses benefits quickly and can be detrimental.
Instead, time was better spent walking outside, having tea, listening to music, reading, meditating, writing. All were more important priorities.
Sleep. I can’t get enough of it.
Even with the prioritization, my life is filled with things that demand attention and time. As I set my intention to be more aware of my mental state and take the steps that keep me healthy and balanced, including declining invitations; things continue to pop up.
Which brings me back to tea.
In the combination of taking care of myself, fulfilling my obligations, getting and keeping my shit in order, all on a +40hr work week and while trying to be more creative, is frankly exhaustive. Generally, the grind demands you shut up and take another alpha step. How else you going to get where you want?
But important, is to know when you have to take a pause. Pour yourself a mug of tea. Watch an episode of Sunny, and relax. Also, get to bed early.
Cheers friends. I promise we’re all out here, working on our shit. Sometimes we step backwards; it’s only natural. Cycles go up and down with regularity. It will pass.
In the meanwhile, keep doing what’s best for you. Reach out if you need to, your friends will surprise you if you surprise them.
Love yourself, and remember I love you too.
Winston